MY games splurge since being home

Since ive been home ive bought a few games:

1. Guitar hero metallica (£70)

2. Rise of the argonaughts (£30)

3. Quake wars (£13)

4. Red Faction 3 (£30)

5. Shaun whites snowboarding (£7)

6. Fifa 09 (£23)

7. Blue dragon (£7)

8. Sacred 2 (£40)

9. Fear 2 (£25)

10. The Darkness (£5)

11. Grid (£15)

12. Prototype (£40)

13. Velvet Assassin (£40)

14. Bionic Commando (£30)

15. Chronicles of riddick dark athena (£25)

16. Wolverine Origins (£40)

17. Prince of persia (£20)

18. You're in the movies (£20)

19. Red Alert 3 (£15)

Hmmm thats enough.

Total spent: £495...damn just realised that...coulda bought a hoocker instead :(

Out of all of them ive completed 3...i suck: Fear 2, Bionic commando and wolverine origins...

1.00am reasons why Bobs SHOULDN'T do it Part 1

Fuck my steake pie hole!!!

So it's 1am and I have to get ready for work at 6am so lets do this shit n get it over and done with...

1 Because Charlie Brooker wrote Dead Set

2 Because paedos disguised as schools are dangerous

3 Because my music just stopped on my ipod

4 Because it's fucking difficult to get too 30k gamerscore on 360 even tho i only have 400 left to get

5 Because my wage will be £212.50 this Friday

6 Because no one interesting is on msn right now

7 Because see you next Tuesday doesn't actually spell cunt

8 Because Biffy Clyro's new song 'that golden rule' is AMAZING

9 Because yay there's a new l4d campaign coming out next month

10 Because im not drunk

11 Because i learned greensleeves on guitar today

12 Because i just made a chocoloate milkshake

13 Because ill prob put on some porn in a minute

14 Because leggat better win the quiz tonight

15 Because i havent done a blog in a good while

16 Because jonny owes finley money

17 Because ive done fuck all with my day today

18 Because bison grass vodka and apple juice goes down very easily

19 Because i cant remember the last day when i havent had a drink at all

20 Because i look amazing in shades

21 Because dumbledor dies in the new harry potter movie :'(

22 Because i wasnt invited to poker tonight by text

23 Because a punch to the throat would probably be a bad alternative

24 Because i waste too much money

25 Because its now 1.20am and i need to sleep...

Hello blog...

I'm just back from work and tbh I feel a tad depressed...

What?

I'm not acting emo...

Shut up :'(

*Puts on 30 seconds to mars song*

So yeah it's nearly exactly (oxymoron) half eleven...oh fuck you world it just turned 11:30 as I typed that, I feel my point is still valid.

No ones on msn appart from nico, kenzie, jonny v and leggat. Nico is talking, I'll check what she's saying:

"Dreams are fleeting and life is cruel says:

really

Well aint that a slap in the face

do YOU think she gets treated like dirt

arent your boss folk nice

also if you go any more north of inverness you hit the back of beyond"

I don't think I've ever been up north but it can't be more backwards than shagging horses GRANT MCMICHEALSON!!?!...you know who you are...

So yeah I've been spending my time off at home doing basically fuck all lately and tbh there's only so much you can traul the interwebs and play x box before it starts to get a little dry. I mean it's like doing the same old shit everyd

ay, can maybe understand why Jay is thinking of leaving now...

Got my lip pierced last Friday...Ilike it, most other people think it's faggy to them I say 'ohhhhh *waves hands about* kissy camp fuck' ...yeah

I mean loads of really cool folk have it done like uh this random sexy bitch I found on google.

BEFORE:

AFTER:

I also watched a terrifically aweful movie this afternoon to fill in some non work time about killer sheep in New Zealand going skatty mental and chowin on folk turning them into huge mutated oversized sheep. It was basically like a farmers .REC

There were a few lol moments when like they drive into a sheep and it goes flying into the air in a total GTA MOTHER FUCKER kinda moment which is dear to me. Also when a farmer is being attacked by a sheep trying to scran his face off and he punches it 3 times in the puss...I dunno I just founds that funny :S

To be fair tho even though it was so aweful it was aceeptably funny; there was a fit hippie chick in it! I pissed mysel pretty much at this gloriously dumb blonde moment:

This will do for now blog, bai bai...

I will not celebrate your 5th of July joy America...

This post will have nothing to do with America, celebration or the number 5. The title was just to intreuge the unsuspecting punters of the cosmopolitan gangster society. Now I've used all the big words I know lets move on...

You're right Martin I haven't blogged in a while and thank you for inspiring me to further myself more blogtentially. To honor this I want to find an anagram of your screen name, I'm gonna check now...

Gnarly Sock translates to Clanks Orgy which reminds me of the robot clank from the ps2 games he was in with ratchet. Hmm, I wonder if there's any robot porn on the internet? Bet there is.

Well I'm just posting this because I started it a few weeks ago and never got around to finishing it...

Now, I'm away for a fag, a choccy milkshake n some wotsits! ^_^

Funny ass movie scenes :D

Postal 

Harold and Kumar 2

Anchorman

I'll put more on later...

Recent uprisings in the pedophile impersonation conquest

So Matt Bellamy from Muse sounds like creepy old pedo Herbert from family guy in the song Sing for absolution.

Lols...

Quicktime no fucking about console wars...

360

Pros:

• Achievements are addictive
• Easy enjoyable live experience with personal profiles
• Lots of customization with wireless mics, wireless addapters, colored joypads
• Great exclusives such as: Saints row, fable, gears of war, halo and mass effect
• Live arcade allows many  old school games revamped in hd with new content
• Exclusive dlc content like lost and damned for gta 4 and dlc for fallout 3

Cons:

• Extremely noisey with fans
• Low life expectancy with consoles prone to scratching games, red rigning and constantly overheating
• Costly xbox live and microsoft points for ancient retro games that can be easily emulated on pc
• Disc tray prone to jamming
• Huge power brick and plasticy casing

PS3

Pros:

• Free online
• Glossy design is futuristic and appealing
• Winning next gen blu ray dvd format capable of storing much more date for games and being the cheapest blu ray player on the market
• Almost silent when running games
• Great exclusives like: MGS 4, uncharted, singstar, LBP and gran turismo

Cons:

• Trophies are a cheap knock off of achievements and dont feel as earned and worth getting as achievements on 360
• Consoles dont come with any sort of mic so most online gaming tends to be silent
• The stupid cushioned triggers on the controller??!?!?!?
• Losing exclusive franchises like final fantasy 13 and tekken 6 to the 360
• Controlers not using batteries so needing charged with a wire constantly

Wii

Pros:

• Motion control work fantasticly with res 4 making a great game even better
• Innovation in games with mario kart steering wheel and wii fit step tool
• Games like tiger woods ' 10 have a weather recognition programme so golf courses u play have the actual weather of the day your playing it
• Playing old school nintendo games again

Cons:

• Complicated to play with friends online
• No chat support online
• Perifferols chew through batteries
• Games are not the the fuller standard of 360 and ps3 hd graphics
• Stupid gimmicky controler only makes u want to play game for a short time before wanting to not interact and just sit with a normal controller playing a game without flailing about
• Exclusive games rely on old franchise remakes like:  zelda, mario galaxy, metroid 3, mario kart, smash bros
• Few mature games appart from mad world, res 4 and manhunt 2

Where is your god now America

So, I'm bored at 3am nothing to do but randomly trawl the Internet to accidentally come across something funny possibly?

When this:

http://hepzis-hobbies.blogspot.com/

I mean wtf. thank god for the horizon, thank Jesus our lord for helping us have enough money to go to the grand canyon during spring break. If your faith is in god so much maybe you should have spent all your money and a miracle would have supported 500 dollars to go the grand canyon instead. Why don't you have faith in yourself instead of hiding behind a delusive entity you ignorant self deprecating dumb fucks. Have your faith sure whatever but don't spout shite like it was the lords work that saved who ever in hospital when there a far clearer methological answer.

The spread of god is evident throughout American politics through George Bush's past speeches to the dollar bill itself

Maybe I'm an acting cynic atheist but it's just common sense that everything happens for a physiological and mathematical reason. Faith is a belief in hope not an escape goat for supernatural happenings.

So naturally I made this to spite the stupid bitch that provoked this rant -

An uninspired blog

I want to write more blogs but I don't have much to say or at least not enough to say about any particular topic.

Mexican swine flu as a global epidemic? Well I tend to not come across many Mexicans anyway and if i were to go on holiday i wouldn't choose Mexico. I mean there are pigs in every country but only Mexicans would make a disease out of them...fucking drama queens

Now around the age of 13/teenhood boys including myself think fuck it...guitar is the way forward, it makes a cool noise that makes girls pee themselves and makes you look talented. The thing is when you go to try it out it harder than necrophiliac in Mexico. The secret is you don't need to know all the crazy as solos to impress and play EXPERT GOLD STAR DRAGONFORCE doesn't mean you can challenge Tom Morello to a dual...the prick. Anyway, this explain all you 

really need to know before giving up and doing something more worthwhile like joining the war on terror or fearing the recession:

BTW check out Fear 2: Project origin, just completed it today and its really quite good. Can get now for about £25 new and it's got a long single player where a creep Ring-esque girl rapes you and her babies try and kill you, much like current Emerdale with bad boy Cain returning and stirring shit up...

...Cunt

Starting to record myself

I think a little self surveillance is upon high time. I mean we all waste money as it comes and since I have an ongoing salary weekly i tend to blow my money weekly on shit I don't need. So this summer I'm going to post every I buy and how much it cost but also if it really or needed or just impulse (endlesssporadicshopping) buying.

Today I went to the hotel to collect my wages which unfortunately weren't there , so I phoned Craig my boss up and he came from his house to come and give me £78...*cue ff7 battle win theme* My boss is sound which is why i think he took time out of his day off to see me...cause I'm cool...n stuff...

So I headed into Elgin time limiting due to working at 6pm. It was currently 3pm and it takes 45 mins to get to Elgin...It felt like the fucking Italian job, except with no mini or a mini cooper...lol Matt daemon joke...

I was originally gonna buy Chronicles of riddick dark athena but ign gave it a shit review so instead in my hurry i decided to buy a cool looking watch for £70 reduced from £200 twoooooooooooo huuuuuuuundred? 

Yes, two hundred.

I also searched around for a specific book relevant to studying for my exams "A peoples history of the world" asking the girl in the book shop to search for it was dire. She couldn't find it on log so she searched the INTERNETS...most people know there is no girls on the internets so this was like femme fatal inventing fire except she was reaaaaaaaaallly retarded...

I left whilst she was searching...

I went to another shop n bought a sociology book for £30 which is extortionate but it has 900 pages so i guess my brain wins...

Total money spent = £100

• Watch - £70
• Book - £30

Broken Computer?

So I've had to transfer my online over all my online trust over to Google Chrome since firefox has started being a dick and crashing everytime I try and save a picture. First things first, wheres the search bar :'( scary...I noticed there's a incognito browsing function for going on the net undetected by history logs which is fine n dandy for kids going on their parents computers not wanting to get caught on porn but this is my computer and I'll be damned if I have to be forced to become more private.

My computers a wee bit messy as well so I've decided to clean it up n folderise things and delete uneeded shit whilst listening to radio one. Incidently, apparently Chris Moyles is leaving which sucks as he really is the only reason to listen to radio one...don't make him go on tv more...he sucks in that region.

Look at my nice n shiny tidy desktop :)

This also cracks me up:

http://www.newgrounds.com/portal/view/491787

Interesting post to some and some other irrelivent guff

So I like modifying my room lots as a means to distract myself from work...sue me...

Actually don't I have very little money.

Talking of money WTF Lloyds TSB, why don't you ever do what you say. There was meant to be £90 charges coming off my account on the 9th but only £50 came off...so is the left over £40 mine now? Well fuck you because I've already spent a tenner of it...teach you to fuck with me, also hurry up with deciding whether or not you're going to give me back my charges or not...

As I was saying I like modding my room...

This pic i just think is cool and it also is the remains of the zombie apparel that i wore a few nights previous...winrar...

In other unrelated news I've recently been informed (thanks to a buddy on msn who lives closeby yet I've never met) that the ipod touch 2nd generation has been successfully jailbroken. This basically means you can mod your ipod to hell and personalise it with programmes like putting emulators on your ipod to play like retro ps1 games or nes games on it. Search for a programme called Quickfreedom and download it. I'm yet to set my ipod up with it cause I can't find my damn ipod usb cable

Cryface :'(

Shit I need to do on a Monday...

Tomorrow I have important shit to do...

1. Phone Chiltern about the medical testing situation in which I recieved a letter about the other day.

-The letter foretold about needing subjects to update their flu vaccination bank details and will pay people for taking part, travel expences and referals to friends. Apparently up to £200 for referals infact...interesting

2. Need to phone William Hill about application. They said if they did not get back to Jonny or I in a week we should phone up and find out the deal...fingers crossed...

3. Really should do my essay, I mean come on it's due on Thursday...pull yourself together and stop playing Res 5

-Fuck you Wii, I'll admit your Res 4 is better than my 360 Res 5...don't need to brag OK!?!?!?!

---

I'll update this tomorrow to scribe how shit went down...

Bilbo out...

Whatever i said before 2.0

So it was the midnight launch for res 5 and jonny and i had already decided we were gonna go to get the game for the epic co-opness gameplay. We had to decide to go to either Game or Gamestation tho.

There were two deal clinchers.

1. I had £29 in game store credit for Game.

and

2. They were holding a competition for the best dressed zombie in game and the prize would be an entirely free copy of the game.

So thinking why not try do that...we thot sure why not, we may not win but it'd be good crack anyway...

So off we head to pre mart and we each bot a £2 tshirt and a £6 pair of jeans.

So thats £16 altogether on clothes.

We then headed to the joke shop n got 3 vials of fake blood and a packet of blood capsules, jonny also bought a bloody fake hand.

We spent £15 in the joke shop together.

Which made £31 altogether spent.

We a were gonna check out whiteyed contact lenses but they were £30 each...fuck that..the game was only worth £40.

So basically i ended up spending £12 coz i never bought the stoopid hand.

We got to some shredding of the clothes and poured blood over them to make them look cool as such.
For the face we got some white make up to cover a pale look and then used some borrowed eye shadow (Maria's) to darken shadowed areas to complete the look. I enjoyed the dribbling of blood capsules down the chin bit...it was sexy...

With the completed look we were set to go...

Finley phoned us as he went down to Tesco before we left and told us we didnt really have a chance :( as he saw some hefty good looking dressed people

We headed down regardless...

When we arrived we were the only dressed zombies there...lololol

At the end of the night there was me n jonny, a guy in a hoody pretending to be a hunter from l4d...fucking lamey lols and a chick with a darkened face and mates that shredded her top in shop to make her look like a slutty zombie as they knew we looked the best.

The 4 staff members for game got to vote...the 3 guys voted me including the manager i argued with weeks previously...lol...the stunningly hot staff member (who only looked hot due to blood contacts and pigtails) voted for the girl only due to being her friend...boohiss...

So we went down at 1am to collect our free copy

kick ass!!!! night well spent!!!!

In one of these pics i look like a posh zombie yay intellect...

Resident evil 5 launch...thanks GAME!!! 1.0

So beforehand I used to think the manager for GAME was a complete gimp since he was really fussy about the ID he needed for me to trade in my DS for cash...I went to gamestation instead and they were ok with the ID i had and i proved him wrong by getting my £40.

But now i think the guy is really cool...

HOW THE FUCK DID THIS TURN OF EVENTS HAPPEN YOU ASK?

...read the next blog to find out...

Ideas on things that never happened

So when thinking in the shower this morning...



















I got to some thinking, butterfly effect style. Yesterday I was walking about town searching for a job to pay the bills since the telemarketing gig was up.

No in fact fuck you, I'll interupt what I was about to say to tell you about that. Apparently now Castle arketing is purely employing on a commission based basis to there which I was told I could make more money If I was good at the job. How the fuck does that work if I was getting paid commission anyway? I need to walk up n see them about the £70 they still owe me for when I was contracted being paid hourly.

tl;dr: imma sue me some bitchaz...

So aye there's this wee active outdoor shop advertising staff and supervisor position so I went inside to find out what the dealio was. She asked whether I was going for the staff or supervisor job, I lolled, maybe I looked like a supervisor...I mean I did get dressed yesterday - It's Dundee it surely can't be that hard to get high up in the promotion ladder considering the prominance of half bred dribble Sians.
So I asked for the staff position told her my situation and handed in my CV and that was that nothing exciting there. But what if...

Imagine as I was walking in and a person bolted out the door and the shopkeeper yelled thief. If I grabbed the wee scumbag (called humans in Dundee?!?!?!?) and manged to get the stolen item back do you think I would have got the job right there. I'd like to think so. So thanks a bunch Dundee...when I need you to be scummy you aren't. I mean what iis your problem? You've probably lost me a potential job now.

Dick >: (




















Yay I'm going snowboarding this weekend, hope my leg is ok by then...

3???

3 blogs in one day would just be silly...

Stop being so demanding

People look like people...

When sifting through my pictures folder which is currently standing at a respectable 4300 piccies/2gb I realised alot of the pics in there look like people I actually know....but they aren't actually them. Are there not enough chromosome distinctions in the world to make everyone unique? Or is it just that sterotypical fads have taken over and everyone wants to be a scene kid resulting in the same redone look until all teenagers turn into one big super emo and cut them self so deep that the poetry they spew out in an orgy of cries brings back the memories of their childhood actually being not that bad and they don't actually have to make up that they were abused as a child to get attention.

I just seems the majority of girls these days are so insecure in their teenage transition and feel the need to say they were raped when they were younger...not meaning the speak with lack of empathy but fuck off...just wise up and stop being so pathetic. All girls should just be locked away in prison between 13 - 17...the bitchy years.

Where the fuck was I going with this...












Oh yeah look alikes...

















Johnny I never knew your alter ego was in crouching tiger hidden dragon.














Me as the band leader (Claudio Sanchez or sommat) of Coheed and Cambria...in Portugal














Hey ho! It's what Cam looks like when he dresses up nice to work the streets at night...you dirty slag.

On an end note my leg is still sore...damn you Ailie :(

Bookmarks - For those who can't be arsed using their memory

My bookmarks (or favourites for those still stuck in the IE days, losers) has a wide variety of topical content spanning many genres of my interests. Spanning from messed up cult videos to favourite porn clips, from job seeking sites to free computer game spamming sites and the likes of many others. Iwant to explain to you several of my bookmarks and why I added them in the past; hopefully then you'll think I'm cool n stop beating me up/off.















One website I visit the most is Screwattack. It's really good for updating you with all the news in the gaming industry and it has posts pretty much daily. I prefer it mainly because it's an independant project unlike IGN or Gamespot which are a tad commercialised even though I have to admit I do use IGN. It's not only about updating information but it also has funny sketches ripping on different game cliche's, if that's not enough one of the team members is a fat Mexican...nuff said.

Sticking to games check out Zero Punctuation reviews on games. His satirical sketches made me do a lol out loud literally. This guy started making piss take videos on youtube (link here) and after doing just two managed to get scooped up by gaming website the escapist and is now making to bah from his reviews...smart guy.

Do you have OCD??? Awesome cause I don't...becoz I don't...because i dont...because I don't :) Anyway I have a site book marked claiming you can get free games as long as you spam enough in adverts. Prize Rebel works apparently using a point scoring system and has links of adverts which If you sign up using your email and answer a few questions rewards you with a certain number of points. If you were to check this out use a different email than you main one because signing up to these advert thing which is free will although spam the crap out your inbox. Also you get like 20 points per sign up and it takes like tens of thousands before you can actually get a game I think...so all the time spent invested in it could be spent working a job really...stupid huh?

One of the stranger links I have relates to an urban myth video spread around youtube involving a guy called Mereana Mordegard Glesgorv. The video involves a guy standing still emotionless with a red backlight or filter over the video and nothing apparently happens for the 3 minutes. The myth is ten people reportadly watched the video and from what they saw went bat shit crazy and gouged their own eyes out. Sounds lol worthy but to date I still haven't watched it due to screamer vid potential in which I fucking deteste...especially when surfing the web at 3am when the darkies are out.

For the porn side use Spankwire for decent length stuff but if you just want to see some cheesey 80's porn or bloopers taking the compltete piss then go to efukt for your fucked up porno needs.

Finally the last website which can induce some hefty rofls is Morph Thing where if you sign up for an account here it allows you to get two pictures of peoples faces and morph them together to see what their children or whatever would look like. Naturally I morphed pictures or Madeline McAnn with people I know to see if they are rapists or pedophiles...
Kenzie did it scratch you when you went inside this little treasure?













Blah blah blah words...witty punchline END!

Daffodil Soup The Early Years

We all know Daff Sophisto are a couple of guys which sounds mere enough but everyone has to start somewhere and every group has to meet some how. These are are the difining snippets in time where gods are made and the pedoscats are seperated from the paedephiles...

Let us pray















During the epic that was 2006ish...probably...in 6th year anyway long hair dominated the scene. We all had it, and if you didn't you were a total homo



It was cool and sheik (not Zelda's alter ego)














Now everyone has seemed to defer from this look with 3 victims of haircutosity.

1. Leggat the mullet man horse thunderererer - grows hair for a bet, would kill you if you cut it off then cuts it off next day due to it becoming heavily radiated...fucking Chernobyl, when will you stop?
2. Mrrrrratin the retro man bass rapist - worshipped long hair as a sign of power and godlyness, the Irish defied his Samson-eske authority and sent an army of hobgoblins to cut him up in his stupor
3. Myself the Bilbo Baggins of yesteryear - I decided to cut my hair myself for some reason?!? I musta been high n drunk like Johnny V *SMACK*

But what we are all forgetting about is the knob log.















Thanks for beng such an inspiration.

And now for a retrospective of Daff Sophitos recorded to date hits.



Sounds so good it makes you wanna come, it's Cheese toasty at number one.


Hooooooooooooooo, at number two it's Bad11

Fuck you, two is enough, either buy my windows or go away...

Well here we all are...

...but what the fuck are you doing up at half 6 in the morning too? I have class at 11-12 and 2-3, maybe I'll see you there, if your man enough that is.
Why the hell do some of us Abertorians have to go to uni this week and some others don't all because of the mythically efamed 'Pitch Week'. So alot of the artsy fartsy computer folk get to bump off n chuck in a couple of drawings while the rest of us have to undure some hard grafting. Well actually I don't have to, I only have 2 hours tomorrow, 4 on Tuesday and 1 on Friday :S

So back to gaming. As I sit listening to Bullet for my valentine which are easily like a much better version of Trivium or Dragonforce whilst still very very technically proficiant...wait wtf am I talking about...back to the point...

Martin posted a pic of all the gen nintendo consoles so Itook it upon myself to take a photoof all my current gaming consoles appart from my wii because it's at home. Decide what you'd rather have?

OR